Is LOVE at first sight possible?
When I first met Ailsa (in a small town 300 miles from where I lived), I was very interested in her, but she was engaged to David, and not in the slightest interested in me.
After she called off the engagement to David, a friend told me. I wrote a letter, then arranged a visit. After three years of many bumps, we married, and 22 years later are still together. Not always smooth, and there is love present in many dimensions.
So yeah – I think it is possible. I have a limited set of data points to support that hypothesis 😉
One subjective experience is a data point.
The trick is learning to keep the experience, and the interpretation of the meaning and relationship of that experience, as two very different things. The subjective experience always remains. The meaning and relationship is open to reinterpretation at any time in response to new data points, new methods of interpretation, new modes of understanding.
I never challenge anyone’s experience.
I only ever challenge the meaning and relationships and understanding that people bring to those experiences.
And in most people, the experience and the meaning get so tightly coupled that there is no clear distinction – they effectively become the same thing.
Being clear about the distinction, in all cases, opens the door to an infinite world of possible interpretations.
It allows one to try on any set of interpretations and relationships, and to test them out, before settling on some subset of those tested as probably being most useful in any particular context.
That is how I operate, and have done for a very long time.