…where do you think others most often experience you on the emotion scale?
It seems to me that averages (“most of the time”) can hide a lot of reality.
Interesting that we often use a 1-10 scale for something that is infinitely variable – where even a 1-10 logarithmic scale fails to capture even a hint of the variance available.
I prefer not think about averages, and I do often use the Greek conception of the Golden mean – the virtue that lies between the vices of excess and deficiency, and it is not always applicable; sometimes extremes are appropriate. One of my dad’s favourite sayings has become one of mine – “All things in moderation, particularly moderation”.
And I prefer to be present to how I am, which forms a vast multidimensional “landscape” (topology – to give it the technical term). As I look back into memories there are high mountains and deep valleys in some attributes at some times, and while there is a general flatness at a sufficiently removed vantage point, there are a lot of lumps and bumps as one looks more closely.
And I have spent many hours cultivating an ability to seek out and promote certain aspects of being – those towards the peach end of the spectrum; and I can go strongly the other way when faced with the presence of injustice, particularly systemic injustice.
And I do cultivate acceptance.
I do not argue with what is or has been, and I can put quite a bit of energy into something that might become at some time quite far off, if small and persistent actions are taken over a long time.
So I am very disciplined in accepting what is, and also quite disciplined about not continuing the patterns of the past if those patterns do not produce long term outcomes that serve the life and liberty of all.
It seems to me that many people waste a lot of energy and creativity wishing something from the past or present was other than what it is, rather than putting that energy into creating a future that is aligned with their highest values.
And in that process, it is powerful to know oneself, to understand to the best of our abilities what our attributes (at all levels) actually are, rather than what we wish they were (and there will always be a little fuzziness at that boundary).