17 Jan ’15 :Todays Q: AGE

How much does ‘age difference’ matter in a man-woman relationship?

I know well several relationships of asymmetric age that have stood the test of time.

One couple that have been together now for 40 years I introduced to each other. At the time she was 15 and he was 22 and the introduction was just purely one of meeting, as he was a friend I bought home, and she liked the look of him, and over time the relationship developed.

Another friend I haven’t seen since moving south (almost 20 years) had been in a stable and loving relationship for over a decade with a woman 30 years older. Last I saw of them they seemed very happy and loving.

About 20 years ago I met a 73 year old who had a 21 year old wife, and they seemed to have a genuine and very loving relationship.

I have a fairly close friend who is now widowed, and she fell in love with her best friend’s father while at university (he was widowed then), and they had a very long and happy relationship.

I had a very close friend who was seduced by a 13 year old, and was terrified by the potential legal ramifications of that fact for many years (it is rape by statute with a prison term). She most certainly didn’t look 13, and she definitely set her sights on him (I met her a couple of times). He was definitely a willing participant, and at the time had no thought of her age. He left the country, and I haven’t seen him in a long time.

I am 6 years older than Ailsa.

So I don’t see that age necessarily plays any role in relationship, and I acknowledge that the legal system doesn’t see it that way.

And if one looks at statistics, there are some trends, and those trends don’t necessarily say anything about any specific case.

That is very real issue with the use of statistics in society – general trends say nothing about specific cases – and making rules based on statistical trends may seem sensible to many, and will always produce specific outcomes that are inappropriate and unjust. Statistics are always a poor way to make laws. Laws that work are based on agreed values that need to be interpreted in specific situations.

That is the fundamental problem with legal systems based on statistics, and legal systems generally – for the most part they fundamentally disrespect individual differences and ignore individual values.

About Ted Howard NZ

Seems like I might be a cancer survivor. Thinking about the systemic incentives within the world we find ourselves in, and how we might adjust them to provide an environment that supports everyone (no exceptions) - see
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