21Dec’14 ~Q of Today~ TEMPER

Are you calm when something you care about happens or are you highly triggered emotionally ?
If you are the emotional type, what do you do to temper your reactions ?

We all get more emotional about some things, and not so emotional about others.

If there is a trick, it is learning to know yourself, learning which contexts evoke emotions and which allow calm.

If there is another layer to the trick, it is maintaining sufficient awareness to notice the context you have selected, and to select a more appropriate context if your emotional response is not appropriate to the situation.

Learning how to maintain that awareness is key.

Meditation is one technique.

Brute force of will is another.

Making enough mistakes that we learn from them is the most common.

The hardest thing about the mistake route is recognising the mistake, which usually involves breaking through one or more layers of self justification that prevent us recognising mistakes.

Certainly, strong emotions tend to evoke the earliest patterns laid down in our brains – so we tend to lose awareness and simply respond. Over evolutionary time this sort of response has worked, on average. As we move into a new realm, that response becomes less likely to produce a positive outcome.

I am usually slow to anger, but not nice to be around if anger does take over.

Usually I can recontextualise, and avoid it, and sometimes not.

About Ted Howard NZ

Seems like I might be a cancer survivor. Thinking about the systemic incentives within the world we find ourselves in, and how we might adjust them to provide an environment that supports everyone (no exceptions) - see www.tedhowardnz.com/money
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