Afraid to lose

26 Oct ’14 ~Q of Day~ Afraid to Lose

What are you afraid to lose the most?

Afraid is not quite the word.

I certainly don’t desire to lose lots of people, most particularly Ailsa and Jewelia and William – but I’m not afraid. I know I could survive anything, and eventually find new loves.

It was a really strange feeling – to accept that I could be dead in 6 weeks.

Accepting that kind of took all fear away.

Certainly there are many things I’d rather not have happen, and many situations I am not comfortable with (like heights) – but it really isn’t fear in the way that I experienced fear prior to 4 & a half years ago.

[followed by]

Yeah Judi

And to OM

I don’t seek death, in any way shape or form.

I am still committed to avoiding it if at all possible – but not at the cost of freedom.
And I don’t fear it any longer.

Facing it, I accepted it as a very real possibility.

I might, (probably will) end some day. And there exists a finite probability that such a day may be infinitely far off. Just need to get myself out on the tail of that probability curve.

I’ve lived my life on the tail of many probability curves, why not that one?

About Ted Howard NZ

Seems like I might be a cancer survivor. Thinking about the systemic incentives within the world we find ourselves in, and how we might adjust them to provide an environment that supports everyone (no exceptions) - see www.tedhowardnz.com/money
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