Just Friends

Question of Today~26th of May, 2014~Just Friends

What does it mean when a woman tells a man she wants to be “just friends” with him?

I plead male at this point ! 😉

I would tend to think that it meant that there was no interest in any sort of sexual or romantic engagement.

I tend to just say what I mean as simply as I can.
I often have no idea what Ailsa means. Sometimes I have to ask quite a few questions to clarify what she means or intends.

Prior to being married I found it quite difficult to simply be friends with women that I really liked, as the sexual desire within me could be very strong. Sometimes it would seem like over 90% of my brain’s processing capacity was being used simply to override the sexual attraction and desire to touch and caress. I recall one particular trip where I spent a week on the road with my sister and her husband and one of my sister’s friends whom I really liked. She was clear she was not interested in any sort of romantic engagement with me, and after a week sitting next to her in the back seat of a car I left the trip early and flew back home, as I was unable to appreciate anything of the trip as I was spending all my energy and attention overriding the desire for her. It was an extremely uncomfortable experience for me.

Now that those desires and needs are met by Ailsa, I can be friends with women without emotional turmoil.
And I’m not sure if many women have much idea what it is like to be a man in a man’s body, to have to consciously stop your hands from reaching out to touch someone you are attracted to, to feel the rejection at a visceral level – constantly. Being a teenage male can be extremely difficult, even with the best intentions; and while it eases in later life and hasn’t entirely gone away.

About Ted Howard NZ

Seems like I might be a cancer survivor. Thinking about the systemic incentives within the world we find ourselves in, and how we might adjust them to provide an environment that supports everyone (no exceptions) - see www.tedhowardnz.com/money
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