Failed romances

Question of the Day July 17, 2013 ~ Failed Romance

What’s your advice on getting over a failed romance?

Give it time.

Accept everyone is different, and sometimes some differences just trigger too many uncomfortable subconscious feelings.

When my first wife left, I was a cot case. I spent a couple of weeks just curled up under my office desk for hours on end, coming out only to deal with what had to be dealt with (which included being solo dad to our 4 year old son).

It took me about 3 years to accept that it was over (that was about a year after the divorce went through).

Not an easy transition at any level.

My brain took a long time to reprogram, to make space for a new relationship to flourish (which it has done with Ailsa for the last 20 years).

[followed by]

Very astute FOS

For me too, it was the sense of “forever” – the “fairytale” aspect that I was most attached to, and that caused the greatest distress.

That had nothing to do with her, it was all me. And it took me quite a few years to actually start living that (as distinct from intellectually knowing it).

About Ted Howard NZ

Seems like I might be a cancer survivor. Thinking about the systemic incentives within the world we find ourselves in, and how we might adjust them to provide an environment that supports everyone (no exceptions) - see www.tedhowardnz.com/money
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