Question of The Day April 8, 2013 ~ Wrong Decision
If you saw a close acquaintance or family member make what you thought was a wrong decision, would you try by whatever means necessary to convince them of their mistake or would you allow them their freedom of choice?
If the decision they were making seemed immediately life threatening, then I would use extreme measures to save their lives.
In all other cases, I am likely to tell them what I see as unwise about their proposed course of action, and then let them do what they choose.
I don’t believe in “wrong” decisions. There is only choice and consequence. Some consequences are best avoided if possible (like someone dying, or being seriously injured). And sometimes, sh*t happens (in big, smelly, unpleasant, piles).
[followed by]
Hi Brian and Randy
My son was 4 when my first wife left.
I was a mess.
He was a mess.
It wasn’t pretty for any of us.
I tried for two years to patch it up, and eventually accepted that is was over.
Being a solo dad wasn’t easy.
I couldn’t see my part in it at the time, only hers.
It took me 4 years, and a lot of work to see what an arrogant self righteous SOB I had been (not all the time {in my own defence} and too often to be tolerable).
The greatest casualty was our son. He is now 27, and it seem clear to me that he is still paying for my mistakes – and he is doing well enough.
I have been married to Ailsa for 19 years and 2 days. We have had more than our share of adventures and upsets, and we are still together, and still very much in love, though we did have a really rough patch where we separated for a short time a few years ago.
We have done a lot of work with Landmark Education, and I doubt very much that either of us would have stayed committed without that work, I cannot recommend it highly enough. And don’t expect answers, its power lies not in answers but in access to contexts, and levels of commitment and understanding and acceptance.
