When you think about yourself, as the world sees you, what thoughts/feelings arise? Who is the you, that other people see? How does that answer make you feel?
Much confusion and questioning.
As I see me, I seem lazy, as what I do is so much less than what I might be capable of if I was fully committed.
And at the same time, I also see that I do more than many.
At lions earlier this week one of the guys said to me, “you are amazing, I don’t know anyone else as tough, anyone else who has taken on cancer and beaten it.”
I could almost accept that, and at the same time I was conscious of all the things I hadn’t done, or had done poorly.
I don’t know who the person that other people see is (other than it is me).
It seems to me that there is a very real sense in which we never truly know another, as all we can see in another is aspects of experience that we recognised from our own experience. Thus we can only imagine some approximation of another’s experience in so far as we have those experiences (or something similar) in common.
When Stephen made the comment above at Lions, I felt very honoured, and very humble, and very thankful to have such friends.
I am what I am when I am, and it seems that even my own conscious experience of that being is but a poor shadow of the totality of the systems that are part of the incredibly complex whole that allows for me to have the experiences I do.
If my own understanding of me is so poor, then how much poorer is anyone else’s experience of me, or mine of them?
I feel amazingly privileged to be alive at this time, with the level of awareness and appreciation I have, and to be able to share this experience of being with so many other amazing entities that are both like and unlike myself (seemingly in equal measure).
Thank you one and all for being who you are. Special thanks to Brian Johnson, Siona, OM, Deb, Shar, Gil, Jen, Victoria, christine, torch, Andrew, John, Brian, Ian, Amber, Akira, Alluvja, Kathy, Tomas, Mendy Lou, FOS, Joseph, and others like John (aka Tantricksta).
It is an honour and a pleasure to be in such company.